Three Magic Words for 2018

Yes, this year is almost over.  And, of course, we have to reflect upon it, as that is the mental trope that society insists we must roll around in the muck in order to learn from our past to prevent it becoming our future.

Yes, people got married, had kids, ate well, did good works for all and generally made the wheels of society roll along.  Yes, thousands died in unspeakable horrors, from gas attacks, cruise missiles, gunfire and crazed violence for no better reason than they were at the wrong map reference at the wrong time.  It was a mix, as most years are.  Ghastly, heart-breaking horrors with tears of joy as us humans didn’t manage to blow ourselves up once again.

Wherever you are, we ask one thing:  Do your part to make this next year a nicer one with small, personal gifts of yourself.  Hold the door for someone.  Look up from your phone and see the other inhabitants around you.  Reach out, if only to say hello and acknowledge their part of your planet.  I like to occasionally stop the local firefighters when they’re at the grocery store, shake their hand, say thank you and hope they are bored to tears on this shift.  Same with cops, or paramedics.  It is a little thing.

Will a hundred thousand little things add up to anything that matters?  I don’t know, but I do know that we’ve become isolated from each other to the point of emotional immobility.

I have a label on my workstation desk.  It has the magic words that we see every day all around us, but out of context, bringing some gravitas to the words.  Here’s they are:

You are here.

All we can ask is that you live that way.  Be present.  Be kind.  Be brave when you need to and be humble if honoured.

Wishing you a present, pleasant 2018.




Mueller Show Volume II

The Robert Mueller Show is now in Volume II with a guilty plea bargain from former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn.  Yes, the twenty-five day wonder from Donny John’s campaign who was either pushed or jumped from Cabinet for telling fibs to VP Pence regarding his dealings with the Godless Communists in Russia.

The plea is a guilty on Lying To The FBI, Like The Cheap Fuck You Are (the formal term) which doesn’t necessarily mean jail time, unlike some of the other charges that could have seen Flynn spending time in the system.  There have been a lot of media meatpuppets trying read the between the lines on what a plea deal might mean, with speculation running rampant.

In Mob terms, copping a plea means you are as guilty as all hell, but if you give us the head of your crew with sworn testimony in a court of law, we’ll let the the other more serious charges go by the wayside.  Don’t cooperate and then all the other bad stuff comes back.  Copping a plea also means you’re likely to testify about the heinous high crimes and misdemeanors your boss got up to at various dates, times and places, with names, addresses and phone numbers.

In Mob terms it also means you are now dead. Fortunately, contract killings are frowned upon in North American politics, so Flynn’s estate won’t have to deal with pictures of him splayed out over a bowl of pasta with two gunshot holes in the back of his head.  Even Nixon wouldn’t go that far.

Mueller already has folks down the food chain pointing up at Flynn from extensive interviews with Paul Manafort, his business partner Rick Green and George Papadopoulous, a “low-level volunteer” in the campaign who managed to sit at the big table with the candidate and other notables.

Of course in the Daily Press Conference, Sarah Huckabee Saunders is declaring that War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery and Love is Hate, in keeping with the Trump Script from 1984  Sometimes she includes a Two-Minutes Hate of Hilary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, CNN or anyone who doubts her pie-making skills.  Why?  Because Donny John said so.

The real problem is that there is no diffuse management and layers of responsibilities between #Lyin45 and his underlings that would allow Donny John to weasel out of his responsibilities.  He is at least, according to himself, the best manager in the world, with a finger on every decision, in between rounds of golf, vacations in Florida and 6 am tweetstorms while he takes his morning dump shitting out a partly chewed filet that has been cooked well-done and covered with ketchup.

At least Nixon’s crew of savages tried to create a story line of “plausible deniability” to protect the President.  Donny John ain’t that smart.

We await Volume III

Muller Show Volume 1

So Monday, Special Prosecutor Robert Muller dropped two indictments on the former Campaign chair of Donny John the Fucktard’s campaign, Paul Manafort and his business partner Rick Gates.  The indictments?  Money Laundering, Bullshitting the Feds and General Assholery.  Donny John the Fucktard’s reaction was as expected “Not us, we’re not colluding, nope, must be Hilary, not on our watch”  Which rings about as true as a two dollar bell.

For those of us with a historical background we think back to the Watergate scandal that took two years to shitcan Richard Nixon.  The first smoking gun that showed Nixon and his whole reelection campaign was crooked was a revelation that there was a tape recording system in the White House by Alexander Butterfield, a lowish level aide to Nixon.  The second smoking gun came from John Dean who told the Senate Committee that he had (as Presidential Counsel) lied his ass off under oath to “protect the President”

The parallels to today are striking.  Muller’s investigation has been slow, thorough and is only now starting to bring charges that will stick.  Adviser George Papadopoulos has cut a plea deal of guilty for his role in Russian meddling in the 2016 election.  The first reaction out of the White House was, as expected “He was a volunteer with no real responsibility” per Sarah Huckabee Saunders.  Just like the Watergate break-in was “a third rate burglary attempt” per Ron Zigler, Nixon’s mouthpiece at the time.

The nice part of the initial charges is that Mueller already has turned at least one Trump operative.  Anyone associated with Donny John the Fucktard now must know that anything they say, under oath, will be scrutinized, including Donny John Two who was either in the room when the Russians came a callin’, or was deeply involved in trying to get his mitts on anything the Russians might have offered regarding the Democrats email hacks.

What is happening is exactly what we predicted a few months ago.  News outlets are tracking the money.  Find the money and you find the guilty.

Mueller is also doing exactly what Sen. Sam Ervin did in Watergate:  Let them lie to us, then slam their balls in a drawer with the threat of serious Federal charges for not just fibbing, but straight up Federal Perjury.  Then let them tell the real story, under oath on live TV:  See John Dean and his three days of blowing the lid off the whole Committee to Re-elect the President book of dirty tricks.  America was glued to the hearings on CBS, who gleefully ran them uninterrupted.

Right now, anyone associated with Donny John The Fucktard’s campaign had best be making sure they have the story straight.  Mueller, if he doesn’t already have all the goods, has enough of the goods to catch’em by the cullions.  If not for tax fraud (reminder, that is was took out Al Capone, not racketeering) but for something more unpleasant, which is Federal Perjury.

It took Watergate two years to play out, Nixon wriggling every minute of every day, trying to distract and derail the Senate Committee, reporters, the AG, and eventually as far as the US Supreme Court.  One of my favourite Hunter S. Thompson pieces is a fanciful quote of wanting to see Judge John Sirica signing a No-Knock warrant for 1600 Pennsylvania Ave with the admonishment to “Get those goddamn tapes”

We predict we will see Donny John fire his inner circle, blame Steve Bannon, replace most of his media monkeys, then try to use North Korea as an excuse to keep on keepin’ on, just like Nixon tried with Vietnam.  Everyone who testifies will be #SAD and #FAIL, right up to his son-in-law and his own kid.  We also predict Donny John the Fucktard with either have a medical condition (Bone spurs? It worked before…) or do a Nixon and claim phlebitis as a dangerous, possibly fatal, medical reason to go easy on him.

He might even line up Mike Pence to give him a full and complete pardon after the fact, assuming Pence doesn’t go down with Donny John the Fucktard in a shitmist of Guilt By Association.  We can only hope.  At least Donny John doesn’t refer to himself in the third-person as Nixon did, muttering into a tape recorder to preserve every moment of the Nixon Presidency for all time.

Donny John the Fuckard’s inner circle of jerks are about to find out what happens when you are led by an uneducated fascist – pathological liar – serial bankrupt with ADHD.  George Papadopoulos is only the first one to be turned.  Watch the rats getting off the ship with exceptional speed.  Bannon may well have been the first and we wonder if John Kelly is going to be second, not wanting to be a party to the lowlife manipulations of #Lyin45.

If Hunter were alive he’d be calling for a 5 am No-Knock Warrant for 1600 Pensy Ave and the admonition to “Get his goddamn phone!”  That’s probably where the biggest smoking gun resides.

We await the heavenly scene of #Lyin45 getting on a Marine helicopter and going back to Mar-A-Lago.


Amazon HQ2

Here’s what we don’t understand.  Amazon, the global retail and supply chain monster, wants to set up a new Headquarters, called HQ2.  Amazon says it will invest about $5 Billion and create somewhere around 50,000 jobs from HQ2.  Municipalities all over North America are drooling over the possibility of that kind of money and prestige being dropped on their postal code.

Which means the municipal folks are doing almost everything to attract Amazon.  If you told us that municipalities have been offering sexual favours, we wouldn’t be even mildly surprised.  That kind of high dough gets attention, like it or not.

New Jersey has specifically pledged to forgive up to $7 Billion in state and local taxes to get Amazon to relocate to Newark.  If this strikes you as mathematically challenged, you are not alone.  One municipality in Georgia has offered to rename itself Amazon, while Tucson sent a six foot tall cactus as part of its bid.

Ottawa, of course, sent a polite letter and a video of fans yelling at an Ottawa Senators game to attract attention.  We have a slight advantage, in that we have a grotesquely overbuilt fiber optic infrastructure here from Nortel days.  As for developers?  There’s four lads we know of downtown, sitting on the sidewalk with signs that say “Will code C++ for Food”  “Ruby On Rails Coding for Coffee”   At least we don’t have a plague of homeless Java code monkeys like Calgary.  We digress.

This is where our capitalist hat comes out.  The objective of capitalism is to sell things for more than you make them for.  Or, in Amazon’s instance, resell them and take a piece of the action.  In either case, break-even +1 is where you want to be, with the occasional jaunt into a loss leader to clear inventory, or create some buzz.  Any other financial structure means you go bankrupt.

Which makes us think that a lot of municipalities don’t quite understand rudimentary economic concepts.  Roads still have to be fixed, the toilet has to flush to somewhere and you need moving electrons over copper wires to keep the lights on. If you pay Amazon $2 Billion over what they’re willing to put out, so you can have the prestige of Amazon HQ2 in your back yard, who is going to come up with the extra $2 Big?  That’s right, taxpayers.

The same fiscal shenanigans happened in Atlantic City New Jersey with the casinos:  Tax breaks up the wazoo to attract the big casinos, of which Trump was just one of the many that flamed out when there was nobody at the actual gaming tables.  Now Atlantic City has several empty monuments to grandiose fiscal stupidity disintegrating along the seashore.

No, if Amazon wants to relocate to Ottawa, they can pay a fair share of the property taxes, water bill, hydro bill and we’ll kick in some price breaks for the first couple of years, but after that, you pay your share, just like the rest of us.

They’re in business, we’re in business and we’ll both do a good deal, but our pants are staying up.  Respect us for that.

NAFTA Hardline II

In a presser earlier today the usual suspects at the NAFTA negotiations have moved back the date for their next meeting and have admitted that there will be meetings into Q1 of 2018.  Why?  The simple answer is the US suddenly woke up and realized that they won’t get their way.  Essentially, the US wants to screw Canada and Mexico, making it easy for the US to do whatever the hell they want and for Canada and Mexico to take it like a bitch.

Understandably, the answer from Canada was “Eat Shit and Die”  We are paraphrasing.

Mexico’s response was “Come mierda y muere” which we understand is the essential equivalent.  Again, we are paraphrasing.

What it comes down to is The US is so upside down in their trade deficit with China that they felt they had to do something.  More correctly, Donny-John the Fucktard decided to prove his complete ignorance of international trade agreements and try to go after a couple of countries that he figured would be easy pickings.  Oh, how terribly shortsighted and amazingly stupid that choice was.

Fucktard 45, or more correctly his shine-boy Robert Lighthizer has tried to put everything on the table at the last minute in a feeble attempt to destabilize the whole process, supposedly making Canada and Mexico all jumpy and willing to take anything for a deal.  As we mentioned earlier this is ancient-skule negotiating from 1977, which didn’t work then and certainly doesn’t work now.  However, Lighthizer was required to memorize “The Art of The Deal” as part of his job, so he turned to the appropriate page and set his balls on fire.

Except that Canada knows how that tactic works.  You try to shake it up, then unless you can follow up, nothing happens.  It’s empty rhetoric that accomplishes nothing except making you look like a moron.  Or Fucktard 45’s shine boy.

Since Lighhizer has no bargaining position except “NAFTA Bad” and no constructive suggestions, he’s standing in a field by himself playing with his zipper and re-reading Fucktard 45’s book again.  Nowhere in it does it explain what happens when your limp-dick threats are laughed at.

Which is more or less what Canada and Mexico have done today.  We can walk away, and the US knows they can’t without significant loss of US Jobs on the watch of the US President who was gong to Make America Great Again.  Talk about a firing offense for Lighhizer, who will get canned with the hashtag SAD and FAIL from the tiny orange thumbs of Fucktard 45.

These negotiations are so amateurish on the part of the Americans, that we should have sent the second string and the taxi squad to do NAFTA with the rookies and the wanna-bees.  Our varsity team does things like the original NAFTA in 1994 the TPP, founding the WTO in Uruguay, and our EU deal earlier this year.  Our team does not do Amateur Night in Arlington, MD.  At least we’re not paying for hotel rooms and per diem at a Trump Hotel, so Donny John can line his own pockets.

By the way, Bombardier sent a large greeting card to Boeing today.  Airbus is going to build some of the very good, very desired Bombardier C-Series at the Airbus plant in Alabama.  Being built in ‘Murica, it neatly sidesteps the 300% duty the Commerce Department tried to impose on Bombardier.  Delta gets the fuel efficient, properly-sized aircraft they want, that neither Boeing or Airbus makes.  Bombardier gets to deliver 125 of them to a US carrier and we get to keep high paying jobs for very smart people in Canada.

The greeting card read, and again we’re paraphrasing, Eat Shit and Die.


NAFTA Hardline

With Donny John the Fucktard going off about the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), we’re confronted with president 45 speaking out of his ass from a position of no knowledge, no background and no experience.

Some background.  NAFTA came into force January 1, 1994 to establish a trilateral trade agreement between Canada, the United States and Mexico.  NAFTA essentially eliminated trade barriers between the three countries and established a mechanism for dispute resolution, while recognizing that each were sovereign countries unto themselves.

Canada and the US have had free trade in motor vehicles for decades, initially under the AutoPact that allowed for expedited border crossing, no tariffs and a simple way for car makers to source parts from either side of the border.  All the major manufacturers loved the AutoPact since inception in 1965, as they could manage their supply chains with efficiency and save money.  The AutoPact was essentially superseded by NAFTA in 2001.

Now, with Donny John the Fucktard demanding a renegotiation of NAFTA to protect American Jobs, the bureaucrats have been meeting to work out a deal.  Fair enough, all treaties should be reexamined every once in a while.  NAFTA was written before the Internet became ubiquitous, with the incumbent issues of copyright and intellectual property, as well as global/transnational ownership of companies.

Late last night the American ‘negotiators’ tried to pull a fast one and demanded 10 times the access to the Canadian Dairy Industry asap.  Canada’s position has always been, Dairy, Eggs and Poultry are supply-managed commodities up here and have never been, nor ever will be part of NAFTA.  End of sentence.  Period.

The simple reason?  Our standards are higher.  We don’t allow antibiotics, growth hormones or other pharmaceuticals in our milk, eggs or chickens.  Canadian standards, under the World Trade Organization and supply management are all protections that are completely legal.

If Americans want access to our dairy industry they have to meet our standards, which means no, as in zero, nada, zilch, zip antibiotics.  Canadian standards are the world standard.  Even the EU looks at our standards for dairy longingly and with respect.  As for supply management, American dairies can buy quota just like any other farmer.

What the dairy dump is, is an excuse for Donny John the Fucktard to say “Canada isn’t playing fair, so we’re tearing up NAFTA”  It’s a negotiating ploy, in fact a cheap ass ancient union-management tactic that didn’t work in 1977 and doesn’t work now.  Go ahead, hold your so-called gun to our head.

The Canadian response should be a quiet “We’ve got other folks who want our stuff, so if you want to crush your auto industry and have them, the textile industry and the manufacturing industry laying off Americans, we can always revert to WTO standards.  Which means you’ll be paying more for Canadian goods, services and products than under NAFTA.  Oh and by the way, don’t the door hit your ass on the way out.”

Britain wants our stuff.  The EU wants our stuff.  Japan and the whole Trans-Pacific Partnership want our stuff.  We supply most of the lentils in India, who love our stuff.  China thinks we’re great for food and products.  The World recognizes that our quality is higher than the US and the price is actually better.  As much as we’ll miss you, we’ll be fine.  We don’t have to sell jack-shit to you and that includes oil.

Canada is not someone you want to cross Donny John.  You need us to keep your people employed.  We don’t need you.


Harvey, one of a long line of Boys

No great surprise that Harvey Weinstein has been dipping his wick.  The movie business/show business/music business has been based on sex since, oh, perhaps the beginning of recorded history?

I need model for cave painting of hunt.  You show me goodies, I paint you on cave wall near Ooog and Ugg.  You want to dance for the Sun God Ra?  Well, I’m the priest in charge of the Sun God pageant this year, so if you…

The list of offenders in the movie business is so long it sounds like a roll call of every senior executive since Edison.  And we are surprised how?

When we worked in the television business years ago, there were a few agents we didn’t like to work with:  They were sleazeballs and if we didn’t have actual, tangible proof they were banging their clients, we felt that weird vibe that meant something wasn’t quite right.

There is no excuse for it.  There is no “oh, she stuffed her boobs in my face, so what is a boy to do?”  What a Boy does is grab some more.

What a Man does is walk away.

A Man doesn’t use his position to get some.

A Man won’t put someone in a position that they feel they have to put out to get a role, a contract, a promotion, or the simple dignity of being treated like a fellow human.

A Man doesn’t do those things.  He doesn’t even consider them.

A Man thinks with his big head, not the small one.

A Man calls out Boys to smarten the fuck up and stop that shit.

We need more Men and fewer Boys.