Lame Duck Quacks


Funny how we haven’t heard that much from President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy and the rest of the Homeland Paranoia Duo of Kousin Karl and Shotgun Dick.  The reason is the Idiot Boy Administration is disintegrating faster than your $9 umbrella in a monsoon.

Rove is embroiled in a controversy right now regarding emails that have magically disappeared from the computers of the Republican National Committee.  This ties back to Kyle Sampson, Alberto Gonzales’ former Chief of Staff.  The story is that Kousin Karl sent some email to Kyle identifying Bush-friendly replacements for the eight US Attorneys fired in 2006 for not being as Bushy as Kousin Karl would like. 

This is not the first time email is from Kousin Karl has gone AWOL.  There are others, regarding the Valerie Plame mud job that have also found the bit-bucket.  It would seem, at least according to AP that Kousin Karl thought everything was being saved in accordance with the law and, well, oh my, it seems the email wasn’t being archived. 

Shotgun Dick Cheney is making sure he only appears on FOXNews, the last safe harbor where his bomb-them-back-to-the-stoneage demagoguery will get a pass.  Yesterday, his official aircraft ate a bird coming into Chicago and had to land carefully.  If you remember on his Asian travels a few months ago, his aircraft had to divert for another mechanical anomaly.  Shotgun Dick has to stop doing his own maintenance please.  Either that, or he has to stop trying to open the door on the aircraft to go hunting from Air Force Two.  Dick, it isn’t like jacklighting deer from the back of the pickup truck.

Meanwhile President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy is on autopilot, bumping into the furniture like a Presidential Roomba vacuum.  He droningly reads from the script and gets the Stepford Audience to stand and applaud.  I suspect the Secret Service flies the same audience in for all his appearances.  The audience is not human, but seven hundred very expensive animatronics from a defense contractor who also makes some of the Predator drone components.  A traveling troupe of technicians unloads the pallets, dresses them in the appropriate garb and props them up in the chairs for the $1,000 a plate Republican Dinners.

US A-G Alberto Gonzales has as much influence on the law these days, as I do on Czech Republic monetary policy.  He seems intent on waiting for the 40-ton weight to drop from the ceiling, or the duck hunting invitation from Shotgun Dick.

Tony Snow, unfortunately, is fighting a recurrence of his cancer and that is not good, nor the subject of jocularity, so I won’t. 

As for the rest of the Idiot Boy Administration?  I defy you to name more than four cabinet level members.  There’s Chertoff and, um.  Chertoff and.  Well, there are others, I’m certain.

Paul Wolfowitz, one time Bush acolyte and Iraq War mechanic, who is now President of the World Bank, is up to his armpits in his own scandal.  It would seem that he obtained a large pay raise and promotion for a World Bank official whom he was ‘ romantically involved’ with. 

If you want to see the definition of a Republican losing his mind consider this.  Wolfowitz is described by others as a conservative hawk Republican Jew.  His romantic connection is with someone described as an Arab feminist Muslim.  We will overlook the fact that Wolfowitz, while separated from his wife since 2001, is not divorced from his wife.  Wasn’t Family Values a core Republican tenet from the Right Hand of God to President Jo Jo The Idiot Boy?

As for Condi Rice?  She was racking up the frequent flyer miles in the Middle East for a while, but that seems to have tapered off.  She’s smart enough to know when the party is over.  The last time she was seen, was at a Falls Church, VA, FedEx/Kinko’s lugging out a box of photocopied resumes.

Meanwhile Don Rumsfeld is where?  As best anyone can tell, he’s at home, watching Dr. Phil and tuning into the Ultimate Fighting Championships on Spike-TV while dining on Easy Mac and quaffing a Diet Dr. Pepper.  

Under the heading of hyper-trivia, this entry in wikipedia,  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agathidium_rumsfeldi lists several species of slime mold beetles, Agathidium of the family Leiodidae,  named after Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld.  You are cordially invited to make up your own jokes now.

Can someone please get this collection of lame ducks out of the pond?  If we can juggle Daylight Savings Time, why can’t we just move the calendar ahead to 2008 and be done with it.

 

 

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One response to “Lame Duck Quacks

  1. This is great writing.  It must take a lot of time thinking up all these things and I love them.  Thanks for the reality check…

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