Kim Jong-Il’s Application


It would seem that North Korea’s application for membership in the World Nuclear Club has been re-sent and somehow wound up here.  It hasn’t changed much since 2006.  I have no idea how these things wind up in my inbox…

Name: Kim Jong-Il  Celestial President for Life of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea  Platinum Member Hair Club for Men

Address:  1 Presidential Palace, Pyongyang, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.  Kim Jong-Il, Prop.

Phone:  011 850 1

email: kji@northkorea.kp

Sponsoring Country:  "We get by with a little help from our friends" and Pakistan

Reason for Application:

I let one off on weekend.  About 20 kilotons or so.  Same size as the Fat Man did for Hiroshima in 1945.  Big goddam ball of flame.  Loud sonofabitch.  Measuring new hole now.  Missiles too.

Supporting Evidence:

US all a twitter. Japan is urinating their kimonos.  Russia is quiet as mouse in empty Pyongyang silo.  China annoyed.  India is making giggling and Pakistan is holding parade of celebration for Celestial President for Life of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea next Tuesday.  Israel strangely quiet for Jews who talk with hands and dance in circles.  Frenchers and UK not happy.  Wolf Blitzer said we did.  Plus, seismic squiggles making large amplitudes. 

Demands (Rational):

Increased worldwide attention paid to Celestial President for Life of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Kim Jong-Il. 

More episodes of "Three’s Company" written by Kim Jong-Il with original Krissy. 

Old McDonalds in Presidential Square please.  Have much requirement for Fillet O Fish as example of decadent western imperialism and tartar sauce.  Starbucks welcome too.

Need DVD of Susan Boyle  Britisher Talent video plus night scope camera from Sony only not Samsung. 

Demands (Irrational)

Feed populace and place for them to be housed that is not South.  Perhaps in Mexico to obtain American citizenship after voting in elections for Obama 

Ship of oil for Celestial President for Life of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Mercedes-Benz. 

Ship of Nikees in mixed sizes but mostly 11 EEE. 

Noble portrait of Celestial President for Life of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Kim Jong-Il on US Five dollar bill for next year. 

Box seats Yankee Stadium, Blue level near third base line. 

Tennis Lessons from Annika Sorenstram. 

Lasik surgery in Austin Texas. 

Hat of Cheese Head labeled Go Packers Go!

 

Signed

KJI

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