Dave says I can follow’er up, as he’s paintin the trim right now. Which I don’t quite understand so it ain’t the kind of trim I know. He’s just MiSterMessagered Me and said, Baseboards you stupid fook, so’s I guess it’s all OK. Dave says Hi and he’s workin hard.
Them clowns what were rioting in Vancouver were sure in for a big surprise weren’t they when they busted out the windows of London Drugs. During the hockey riots some snotwipes figgered it’d be fine to put the mitts on some DVD players and TV’s whilst their buddies were burnin the cop cars. ‘Cept nobody told’em there was something like forty close-circuit cameras watchin their every move, from tossin the bricks to running out the door with an armload of consumer electronics.
The Premier of BC was on The National pointing at some faces of them arseholes on video saying “Who’s dat guys boss? What’s that guys Mom gonna say? Where’s that shitheel work? We’re sendin the cops after their arses and we’re gonna give them three hots and a cot in the Crowbar Hotel for a goodly long time” I’m whatcha call paraphrasing her words.
Seems the Socializer Media joints like Sit On My Facebook and Twatter have all these sites up, some from private citizens, some from the cops and some from the media, playing back the video and asking the musical question: Who The Fook Is This Moron? Let Us Know. Click Here To Fry His Arse.
To that I’m sayin Giv’er Lads and Ladies of the Law! There’s gettin into some roughouse and then there be whats called Crossing The Line.
At the same time, at The Bay Le Baie in downtown Van, where they busted out a block of windows, the plywoods up to cover the holes. Seems that on Friday a lot of normal folks, as in more than a couple hundred, came down and wrote on the ply that they was sorry that some of their fellow citizens were arseholes. Over at a cop car, they just covered her with PostyNotes sayin the same thing: Sorry Lads, we do like you, some of us got Alpo when they was in the brains lineup in Heaven afore they was born.
To which I’m also sayin Good On Yer Vancouver. I’s been there a couple of three times and she’s a fine city with decent folks. Sometimes it’s hard to find a place where the coffee’s less than 14 dollars a cup, but the folks whats there are fine folks, even them what hasn’t been there that long. They’ll help you out anytime youd like.
Likes the time I was in Van lookin for a good curry but I didn’t want to spend half the cheque on it, so’s I asked around and they sent me to a joint that looked like some family’s kitchen with a cash register and a Coke cooler. Ten bucks later, I’m into a Lamb Madras, salads and pappadums and shit, with a big ass Mango drink named after the dog called a Lassie. Thought I’d died and gone to New Delhi, it was so good. Nobody spoke a word of English and I don’t speak Indian, but we had a time of it with a big bunch of smiles all around.
That’s what you call proper Vancouver hospitality. We don’t give a shit where you’re from, or where you’re goin, but you’re welcome here, right now.
Which if you think about it for another moment is sort of what Canada is like. Did I just get all philosophical there? <From Dave: Yes Mason, you did.>
I se suppose that’s what I really mean. If all you saw of Canada was those jagoffs riotin in Vancouver, you’d have a pisspoor impression of Vancouver and of Canada. We’re not like that.
I’d challenge anybody, black, white, green, red, brown, blue or purple to go to any city, town, village or unincorporated rural municipality five miles back of nowhere in Canada and walk up to a complete stranger. Ask’em for directions to a Timmy’s or the nearest gas station and odds are they’d walk with you to show you the way. Down East they’d probably have you to the house for dinner later while up the line, they’d see if you’d want a pint too. Even in hotshot Toronto, they’d at least give you the time of day.
It’s Canada lad, we’ve got time and we’ll give you a hand.