We’ve been busy over the summer, what with lounging on the deck, taking it easy and generally not giving a blue-nosed damn about much of anything. However, since school is back in, we figured, hey, let’s do some of that blogging thing again…
Where to start, as the outrages are thick and deep. We will condense our reactions to the beheading videos over the summer, courtesy of ISIS. See that red dot on your fellow fighters forehead? That’s a laser, a targeting laser. One, nice, slow pull and about 600 grams of rapidly moving metal will adjust your attitude, forever. Nice knowing you.
Celebrity nudes hacked. It looks like it was nothing more than a simple phishing hack, an unsolicited email demanding the users name and password to keep their iCloud account alive, ostensibly for ‘security’ reasons. The celebrities fell for it, sending the hackers the keys to the kingdom, so they could download anything they wanted. This included, um, intimate, personal, private pictures and videos which have been and are being traded online by the one-handed typist set.
So, to help out the celebrities whose antics are more or less public now, here’s a little reminder: Don’t take photos of yourself or your partners with your phone and don’t store them on a computer, ever. This is why the Polaroid was invented, but alas, the Polaroid camera is no more unless you score one at a garage sale and bucks-up for Fuji’s instant film. Perhaps a simpler fix then; stop taking selfies of you enjoying a moment and simply enjoy the actual moment with whomever you are enjoying it with.
Russia either is, or is not invading the Ukraine, depending on how much shiite you want with your sandwich. The Ukraine has oil, food and money. Russia does not, or at least not as much as they did before the Soviet Union decided to implode and hand over all their cash to various oligarchs to buy apartments in London.
The only problem here is that Putin does not care what we in the rest of the world think; he’s quite willing to do whatever he wants to do with the Ukraine and has the army to back it up. He’s assuming that the rest of the world is a) trying not to starve to death, or b) discussing the latest Kardashian selfie without a care for geopolitics.
Putin’s right of course. Most people in the first world couldn’t spell geopolitics, let alone define it, or understand the ramifications of Russia rolling back to the clock to about this time in 1939. Which explains why the global reaction has the same intensity and depth on intellectual discourse as the Toronto Blue Jays not making the playoffs, again.
Actually, there has been more discussion of the Jays not making the playoffs on Sports Radio, as the shut-ins dissect the 2014 MLB season with the half-wits and the under-medicated bipolars who now constitute the audience for most radio station call-in shows. Russia invading the Ukraine? We’ve got Gord on the line from Pentanguishine: Perhaps the Jays could get a second-round draft pick form the Ukraine National League? A good left-hander maybe?
We despair of this planet some days.