Earlier today, Tony the Mooch got his walking papers from the new Chief of Staff for Donny the Fucktard. Pulling the trigger was John F. Kelly, a non-serving Marine General. (Ask any Marine, you’re either serving or not serving. The only time a Marine stops being a Marine is when they die)
Ten days for Tony the Mooch is all he lasted. Now, the story in the New Yorker didn’t help, as it showed exactly what kind of knob he was and neither did his insistence of reporting directly to Donny.
This is what you call a White House Hard Reset. More correctly, crashing the Donny shortbus into a bridge abutment at 70 miles per hour: Whoever gets out of the wreckage alive, gets to keep their job for another day. General Kelly is not someone to be trifled with and emphatically has the brass balls to do what needs to be done. But since he’s new in the gig, we have a few suggestions:
- Take away Donny’s phone. Now. Break his goddamn thumbs if you have to, but get that phone out of that idiot’s tiny hands before he starts a nuclear war.
- Tell Donny to start acting like a President, not a spoiled toddler. Even Dubya was more Presidential than Donny will ever be.
- Tell Donny to stop lying. Treat him like a grabasstic piece of wasted jizzum like you would treat a raw recruit on the Island.
- Prepare your resignation letter now. Donny won’t do #1, #2 or #3 and you will be forced to either totally trash your service record (a very good one by the way) or be required be a party to violating your Oath.
- Watch your back. Your Commander in Chief hasn’t got you covered. He’d sell his kids before he admits to so much as being wrong.
- Speaking tours pay well. Good luck!