He’s a fan, we’re not, so my commentary will be significantly different from his. Which would explain why we’re letting Mason Baveux comment on the hockey lockout. Mason?
Thanks for the bloggery keys again lad, as there be something important in the air. The National Hockey League has locked out the players, what means there ain’t no hockey, at least for the Big Show right now. For folks like Davey, it might as well mean there’s no mints in Madagascar, so move on, but for the rest of us Canadians, it might as well mean the end of life itself.
Now this isn’t to say there’s a fungus that makes all the pucks disintegrate, or you could get cancer from hockey tape, so’s it’s banned, nope. It is what you call a labour issue. Like any labour issue there be two, maybe seventeen sides to the story.
The players make a jeezly great amount of money playin the game. You’ve all heard of some Sweedish guy signin up for 122 zillion dollars over 10 years to play the game, what’s got too many vowels in his name to be able to pronounce it, let alone spell it out without the spellcheck havin a stroke.
You also know that the teams make enough money to buy small countries outright. I think Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment own about half of Ecuador and most of Trinidad right now, what they bought during the economic downturn of 2008. So’s its not like nobody has any cash to spread around. There’s money in the kitty.
Considering that the guy whose handlin the puck has about a 1 in 10 chance of havin his career shitcanned every time he steps on the ice, I can see why they want them big payday contracts.. They say a career in the Big Show is about six years.
Don McKenny, what was part of the Uke line in Boston, then in Toronto had his knees turned into some kind of puzzle for the doctors back then, when he caught something on the ice. Most likely some twat tossed coins on the rink, nice hot coins he’d been holding in his pocket, what melted in a bit and then Dom come a hareing around the blue line, building up some speed with the puck and over he goes, one knee pointing at Detroit, the other at Montreal and one ankle lookin to New York. Rob Gilbert was another one, what broke his back in the OHA and had spinal fusion surgery in 1960. Back then the docs knowledge of the back was “Jeeze there’s a lot of bones in there”, so’s it was amazing he could walk, let alone skate.
Now that explains why the players want the good paydays. If you’re good enough for the Bigs you have a pretty good chance you won’t make it past 35 as a player, you get the money up front.
As for the owners, well, they want to maximize their return on their investment to use their terminamology. In English, that means make even more money, so’s they can buy the rest of Ecuador and put a bid in on Holland. You can see where my sympathies are. They sure as shiite aren’t with the owners.
The owners gotta know that there’s not but a dozen folks batshit crazy enough to sit around and watch them work on the consolidated balance sheet at $100 a seat for the nosebleeds. The owners don’t do shiite that people will pay to watch and they know it, but they still think they’re all-friggin-mighty important. That’s like sayin the cashier what puts the float in the till every day at IGA is the single most critical part of the whole process of buyin celery.
But tell 20 or 40 thousand folks that you’re puttin on a hockey game and what they want to do is to go watch hockey. As well buy a $3 beer for $10 and a $2 hot dog for $12, plus pay a flat hunnert for a seat so high up you need oxygen to stay alive the whole four hours. And watch the boards change advertising every six seconds and have that goddam “Na Na Hey Hey” song played at them forty two times an hour, loud enough to rip the hairs off the beer guy’s ear lobes.
The owners got sweet FA without the players and they know it. Without a bunch of butts in seats to watch hockey, the owners are going to have to make obscene amounts of money another way, like maybe gettin a friggin job?
So what happens if we lose the whole season? The players will always find a place to play the game and at least make a little money to keep body and soul together, as well as make payments on the Escalade. The owners will write it all off as a tax loss, so they’s not out much.
Us fans? We can get us some too. Junior A, or CHL, or AHL. Damn fine hockey, perhaps better than some of the NHL teams out there. More gratitude from the owners for forkin out the greenbacks for their team. More gratitude from the players for comin out to watch and cheer and buy a beer and a program and a hot dog.
Plus we’d get to watch some good hockey. And that’s what we really want to do. Go Marlies!